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5 Simple Strategies for Cultivating Friendships

or: How to be a Good Friend.

Nicole Peeler
3 min readFeb 28, 2020
Photo by Hannah Rodrigo on Unsplash

1) Don’t sweat the dates
It’s great if you remember your friends’ big days, but it shouldn’t be everything. My evil step-grandmother never forgot a birthday, but also never told anyone she loved them. Also, people get lots of attention on those “special” days. True friends are there for you on random Monday nights when you realize your relationship is crumbling, or they bring you soup and Kleenex when you’re sick. They show up when you don’t really have much to say, but need to talk. Even when you’re not wearing a party frock, and don’t have fun plans, they still wanna hang. That’s friendship.

2) Friendship isn’t proximity
This has been a big one for me, as I’ve moved around a lot. Some people think that friendship has to be something one maintains by being in the same room at least once or twice a week. People who move away, well, they’ve let the friendship go.

The reality is that the solid friendships know that relationships aren’t based on location and that it’s so much more gratifying to keep people in your life who really get you than to fake it with warm bodies who can be in the same room. Of course, it takes conscious effort to maintain friendships that are long distance, but these relationship can be…

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Nicole Peeler
Nicole Peeler

Written by Nicole Peeler

Novelist, professor, essayist. Find out more at http://nicolepeeler.com.

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