Thanks for writing and sharing your experience. I think what I’m trying to say is that I focused so much on what “they” were doing/getting that I was completely blind to my own strengths and, more importantly, all these experiences that I was ignoring. Why was I narrating my romantic life as having missed out on something, when actually I’ve had a ton of really lovely, really satisfying, and really fun relationships? There was a point in my life when I would have said a lot of negative things about my experiences with men and with my female friends around men, but then I realized I needed to look more carefully with a more neutral lens and suddenly I was like “Oh, yeah, I’ve had the bejesus loved outta me and I’ve made my own choices, not just had choices made for me.” Trying on that neutral lens has really helped me shrug off all the negative or impossible social expectations that were weighing me down and helped me appreciate everything I’ve experienced.