This article reminds me of one of the reasons I am grateful to be single as a grown woman. I totally thought it was my responsibility to order my domestic space when I was younger, even if I was living with a partner. How a man took care of himself wasn’t on my radar because I’d grown up with the idea that this domestic control (and everything that goes along with things like cleaning, such as getting to decorate, etc) was part of being a woman. Anyway, at 40, I finally have (mostly) shed not only that responsibility, but all the control fantasies it was based on. This means I now date men who, when I go to their homes, show me that they can take care of themselves. All of this was such a monumental shift in my thinking at the time, yet so blindingly obvious now. Great article and you’re very right we need to upend the “nag” paradigm!